LEARN FROM
SURVIVORS.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
This all started with women standing in solidarity with Jane Doe from Cornell University.
But then something happened.
Thousands of women began sharing their own stories. Some for the very first time.
Read how the community grew
For some, changing their profile photo to I AM JANE DOE was the first time they had ever acknowledged what happened to them. For others, writing a comment on a stranger’s TikTok video was the first time they had ever said it out loud.
Think about that.
Women have been walking around for years, sometimes decades, carrying these experiences inside them. Afraid to speak. Afraid they won’t be believed. Sometimes believing they’re the only ones.
And then thousands of women started saying, “I Am Jane Doe, Too!”
There is so much we can learn from each other. Not just about what happened, but about everything that comes afterward. The things we wish we’d known. The questions we were afraid to ask. The help we didn’t know was available.
We’ve gathered answers to questions survivors have asked, information about your options, and places to turn for support. Take what helps and move at your own pace. You don’t have to share your story to use this page.
WE’RE ALL JANE DOE, UNTIL NONE OF US ARE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?
Some questions are hard to ask. Start here. Find answers about medical care, reporting, evidence, trauma, your rights, recovery, and support.
Please do not include names, exact dates, addresses, specific locations, or any other information that could identify you or another person. This page’s guided answers run in your browser; what you type is not saved or sent to us. You never have to share your story to find answers or support. This is educational information, not a confidential crisis service.
Popular questions
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Consent & Coercion
What is sexual assault?
Sexual assault is a broad term for sexual contact or activity without freely given consent. It can include unwanted sexual touching, coercion, and rape. The person may be someone the survivor knows, dates, or is married to; an injury, weapon, or stranger is not required for an experience to matter.
Criminal definitions and names differ across jurisdictions. You do not have to choose a legal label before seeking medical care, advocacy, or emotional support. A trained advocate can explain local options without asking you to decide what to call the experience.
What is rape?
Rape is a legal term commonly used for certain forms of sexual penetration without consent. Laws define the conduct and terms differently by jurisdiction, so a website search cannot determine whether a particular crime occurred or what charge applies. A person does not have to fight back for their experience to deserve care and support.
If you're unsure what legal label applies, you can still talk with a sexual assault advocate or healthcare professional. They can help you understand available choices without requiring you to report or share more than you want.
What if I was drunk, high, or under the influence?
Drinking alcohol or using drugs does not mean someone agreed to sexual activity. Intoxication can affect a person's capacity to make or communicate a choice; the legal threshold depends on the circumstances and local law. You do not have to decide whether conduct meets a legal definition before seeking care or support.
If the event was recent and you suspect drugging, consider contacting a healthcare provider promptly and mention that concern; some substances may be detectable only for a limited time. You can ask about medical care, an exam, and reporting choices separately. An advocate can help you understand options without pressure.
What is consent? What if I froze or felt pressured?
Consent is a freely chosen agreement to sexual activity. It can be withdrawn, and agreeing to one activity or an earlier encounter does not mean agreeing to another. Freezing, becoming quiet, or not fighting back is not the same as freely choosing to participate.
Threats, pressure, fear, or being unable to make or communicate a choice can matter. Legal definitions vary, and this page cannot determine what happened legally. Whatever your response was in the moment, you can seek support without proving anything or choosing a label first.
What if I was assaulted by my partner or spouse?
Being married, dating, or having had sex before does not mean someone has agreed to sexual activity now. Sexual violence can happen in a current or former relationship, including through pressure, threats, or control. Exact criminal terms vary by jurisdiction.
If safety or privacy is a concern, an advocate can help you think through shared devices, accounts, housing, children, and other needs. You do not have to report, leave a relationship, or share details in order to ask for support.
Rape Kits & Medical Care
What should I expect during a rape kit?
A sexual assault forensic exam (sometimes called a “rape kit”) combines medical care with an opportunity to document injuries and collect potential evidence. A trained examiner may ask about health and the event, examine for injuries, and offer relevant testing or preventive care. The evidence kit is only one part of the exam.
The examiner should explain steps and ask for your agreement. You can ask for a break, skip a step, or stop. You may also ask about an advocate or support person, follow-up care, evidence storage, and whether reporting is required in your circumstances. Care remains available even when you are uncertain about evidence or reporting.
Does a rape kit hurt? Can I refuse part of it?
Some parts of an exam may feel uncomfortable or emotionally difficult. You can tell the examiner if you need more explanation, a pause, or a different approach. RAINN explains that a patient may pause, skip, or stop any step of a forensic exam.
You can ask what a procedure is for before deciding, and you can discuss which medical care you want even if you decline evidence collection. Ask whether an advocate or support person can be present. Availability and local procedures vary.
Can I get a rape kit without calling police?
Many adult survivors in the United States can ask about having evidence collected without making an immediate police report. Whether a non-reporting option is available, how evidence is stored, and whether it can later be released depend on local procedures and the person's circumstances.
Ask the examiner or advocate: who keeps the kit, how long it is retained, whether it can be tracked, what choices you have later, and whether any reporting rules apply. Some situations, including those involving minors, have different reporting requirements. You can seek medical care even if you do not want to report.
What can I request during my rape kit?
You can ask the examiner to explain each step, give you time to decide, pause, or stop. You may also ask whether a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE), a female examiner, an advocate, or a support person is available. Staffing and accommodations vary by facility, so a specific person may not be available.
You can ask about comfort measures, health concerns, testing or preventive care, follow-up, and how evidence will be stored. Medical treatment and evidence collection are related but distinct; ask what happens if you decline a particular step. The examiner should help you understand your choices.
How much does a sexual assault forensic exam cost?
A survivor should not be asked to pay the out-of-pocket cost of a qualifying sexual assault forensic exam. Federal guidance requires jurisdictions receiving certain federal funds to arrange for covered exams at no cost to the survivor, even if they do not cooperate with law enforcement. Other medical treatment may be billed differently.
If you receive a bill for the forensic exam, contact the local sexual assault service provider or an advocate and ask who can help resolve it. Billing and payment details vary, so ask how insurance will be handled before sharing information if privacy is a concern.
Preserving Evidence
What happens to a rape kit after it is collected?
Collecting a kit does not automatically mean it has been tested by a laboratory. Evidence may be stored, submitted, or handled under different local procedures, and testing rules can depend on the case and jurisdiction.
If you have a kit number, ask the examiner or advocate which agency has it, how to check its status, whether your state has a tracking system, and how long the evidence will be kept. The existing state directory may help you find the appropriate local program; it does not duplicate or open a state entry automatically.
Why should clothing be saved in paper rather than plastic?
If clothing may be relevant and you can store it safely, dry items are generally kept separately in paper bags rather than plastic, which can trap moisture. Do not put different items together. For wet items or uncertainty, ask a sexual assault examiner how to handle them.
Your safety, comfort, and medical needs come first. Evidence collection is optional. If items were washed, discarded, or stored another way, you can still seek care and ask an examiner what options remain.
What if I already showered, changed, or washed my clothes?
You can still seek medical care, speak with an advocate, and ask whether an exam could help. Showering, changing, using the bathroom, or washing clothes may affect some evidence, but does not automatically rule out care or every form of documentation.
Evidence options and timeframes vary. If you are considering an exam, contact a qualified provider as soon as you can, but do not assume you are too late or avoid care because you already showered. Your health and immediate safety come first.
How should I save texts, photos, or other digital evidence?
If it is safe, keep original messages, emails, voicemails, photos, and account details rather than deleting or editing them. Screenshots may help, but the original records can contain additional information. You do not need to collect evidence to deserve support.
If someone may monitor your device, accounts, or location, saving material can create risk. A technology-safety advocate can help you consider safer options. Do not contact or confront someone who may harm you just to gather evidence.
How do I find out whether my kit was tested?
If you have an exam or kit number, ask the examiner, advocate, or investigating agency which organization holds it and how to request a status update. Some states have tracking systems; other places use a local contact or process. Collection by itself does not tell you whether a laboratory tested the kit.
The state resource directory may help you locate an advocate or state program that can explain tracking and retention procedures. Do not post your kit number, name, or case details in this search.
Reporting & Your Rights
Do I have to report what happened?
You can seek emotional support, advocacy, or medical care without first deciding to make a police report. Many adult survivors can also ask about a forensic exam without immediate police involvement. Reporting and confidentiality rules can differ, especially when a minor or certain injuries are involved.
If you want to understand the rules where you live, you can ask an advocate or examiner about confidentiality and mandatory reporting before sharing sensitive details. You may explore support now and make other decisions later.
What happens if I make a police report?
A report may involve speaking with an officer, giving information, discussing evidence, and receiving a case number. Investigators may follow up or ask additional questions. A report does not guarantee that someone will be arrested, charged, or prosecuted.
You can ask about a victim advocate, breaks, privacy, and next steps. Local procedures vary; a sexual assault advocate can help you prepare or explain options before you decide whether to report.
Can I report an assault that happened years ago?
You can contact an advocate or law enforcement to ask about an assault that happened years ago. Whether a prosecution is legally possible depends on the jurisdiction, the conduct, and applicable deadlines. Those rules are too specific for a general search result to determine.
A criminal deadline is different from a deadline for seeking support, medical care, or counseling. Do not assume the answer based only on the number of years. An advocate or qualified lawyer can help you understand local law and choices.
What is a victim impact statement, and how do I write one?
A victim impact statement is a way to describe how a crime affected you. Depending on the case and jurisdiction, it may be written or spoken during a court process. Possible topics include emotional and physical effects, work or school, relationships, and financial losses.
Procedures differ. In federal criminal cases, written statements are usually seen by the defendant and defense attorney, although identifying information may be redacted in many cases. Before writing, ask a victim advocate or attorney who may read it, when it can be submitted, and what format is allowed. Use your own words; you do not need to sound like a lawyer.
Finding Support
Who can I talk to if I have never told anyone?
Thank you for reaching out. You do not have to share what happened to deserve support, and you never have to tell your story before you are ready. A trained support professional can listen, explain options, and help you find resources.
You can ask about confidentiality and its limits before sharing sensitive information. This search is an educational tool, not a confidential crisis service, and it does not accept or store a story. You can also continue exploring the answers here without including personal details.
What should I tell or ask my doctor if I am ready to talk about a past assault?
You can start with a simple sentence: “Something happened in the past, and I think it may be affecting my health. I’d like help understanding my options.” You do not have to describe the full experience to ask for care about anxiety, sleep, pain, relationships, or other symptoms.
You could write down a few questions or hand the note to the clinician. Before sharing details, you may ask what is confidential and whether any reporting duties apply. A qualified clinician can explain care options at your pace.
What if I was not believed?
Being dismissed, blamed, or not taken seriously can add to the hurt. You deserve support whether or not another person or institution responded well. You can speak with a trained advocate about emotional support, additional care, and the options available in your area.
Depending on where you are and what happened, there may be a supervisor, victim-rights contact, or complaint process. An advocate or qualified lawyer can help you understand those options; a general website cannot determine which rules apply.
What does a survivor advocate do?
A sexual assault advocate may listen, explain choices, help locate medical or counseling services, discuss safety planning, and support you through appointments or legal processes. Services vary by organization, and you can ask what support is available before deciding whether to share details.
Ask about confidentiality and its limits, including any mandatory reporting duties, before sharing sensitive information. You can request help without making a police report. The existing national and state resource pages list organizations that can connect you to local services.
How do I find a trauma-informed therapist?
You can ask a prospective therapist about their training and experience with sexual trauma, the approaches they use, how they make sessions feel safe, and what confidentiality limits apply. You may begin by describing what is affecting you today, such as sleep or anxiety, without recounting the assault.
A licensed clinician can help assess symptoms and discuss options that fit your needs. The national and state resource pages include mental-health and therapy listings. This page does not endorse a particular provider or diagnose anyone.
What Happens After
Why do I feel unsafe or anxious long afterward?
After a frightening or violent event, some people experience anxiety, sadness, trouble sleeping or concentrating, intrusive memories, or feeling on guard. These reactions vary; they do not automatically mean someone has PTSD. Many people recover without developing PTSD.
A clinician can help assess symptoms and discuss treatment if they interfere with daily life. You can begin by describing what is affecting you now without recounting every detail of an assault. A search result cannot diagnose PTSD or another condition.
Can trauma be connected to drinking, drugs, or postpartum anxiety?
Some people use alcohol or other substances while coping with distress, and mental health and substance-use conditions can occur together. Past trauma may be relevant to someone's wellbeing during pregnancy or postpartum, but postpartum depression and anxiety can have many causes and should not be attributed automatically to abuse.
A healthcare professional can evaluate what is happening and discuss support. If you have been drinking heavily for a prolonged time, suddenly stopping can cause dangerous withdrawal; NIAAA advises seeking medical help to plan a safe recovery. For urgent safety concerns, contact emergency services or a crisis professional.
THINGS SURVIVORS
WANT YOU TO KNOW.
There are things many of us didn’t know until another survivor told us. Things about evidence. About reporting. About our bodies. About our rights. About what happens afterward. We’re bringing those lessons together with reliable information and resources, so someone else doesn’t have to find out the hard way.
Rape Kits & Medical Care
Find answers about medical care and evidence exams.
Preserving Evidence
Learn about physical and digital evidence.
Reporting & Your Rights
Explore choices, legal questions, and court process.
Consent & Coercion
Read about consent, pressure, and freezing.
Trauma & Recovery
Understand possible effects and support.
Finding Support
Find advocates, clinicians, and resources.
Questions you might be asking
Browse all questionsWHAT HAPPENS AFTER.
Sometimes surviving what happened is only the beginning.
Then we’re left trying to understand and recover from everything it did to our lives, often without anyone knowing why we’re struggling.
For some women, the effects are immediate. For others, they don’t recognize the connection until years or even decades later.
Anxiety. Depression. PTSD. Complex PTSD. Trouble sleeping. Difficulty trusting people. Drinking or using substances to cope. Struggling with relationships, intimacy, or feeling safe.
Sometimes we’re dealing with several of these things at once. And when we’ve never told anyone what happened, we may be trying to manage all of it without anyone understanding why.
There is no single way trauma affects someone. Not everyone experiences these difficulties, and not every difficulty is caused by trauma. But understanding possible connections can help us find support.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Mental health and physical symptoms can have many causes. These summaries are educational; they are not diagnoses or treatment plans.
I DIDN’T KNOW THAT
COULD BE CONNECTED.
You don’t need all the answers before asking for help. Start with the thing that’s been on your mind.
FIND SUPPORT
WHERE YOU LIVE.
You don’t have to share your location with us.
Different states have different laws, services, and resources available to survivors. If you’d like to find support in your state, we’ve already gathered resources from across the country. You can search for your state by name or abbreviation, or simply scroll through the list. You don’t have to share your location or any other personal information with us.
This page links to the existing state directory. It does not duplicate state listings or the state search.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO CARRY IT ALONE.
Whether you’re ready to talk about what happened or only have questions, trained support specialists can help. RAINN offers confidential sexual assault support. This website is an educational resource, not a crisis hotline or counseling service.
Call 800-656-HOPE (4673) · Text HOPE to 64673 · Chat with RAINN (opens in a new tab)
Last reviewed: October 20, 2026. Health and legal information is general educational content, not individualized medical or legal advice. Rules and options vary by location; ask a qualified professional about your situation.